Ever get the question: "So, _______, how does it feel to be one year older?!"
Well, for me at least, the answer is exactly the same: it doesn't feel any different!
I feel just about the same... nothing special. No "Wow! College graduate!" thoughts. To tell you the truth, I think a part of me is still in denial about the whole thing. It hasn't quite fully hit me that come the end of August, I won't be packing up my car and heading back to Stonehill. The fact that that stage of my life is over and done with is one that I'm having trouble letting sink in.
One thing sure is sinking in, though, as the summer starts up- the reality about actually returning to Spain. The "Yay, I'm going to Spain in three months!" feeling at the same time as the "Holy crap, I'm going to Spain in three months..." feeling. I applied to CIEE's teach abroad program, I was accepted and I sent in the program forms and fee. What?! I actually did all that?! This is really happening...?! Everything that I'm feeling and thinking is completely indescribable... but basically, what it all boils down to is the fact that in just three and a half short months, I will be boarding a plane to Granada and will begin living and teaching abroad until next June!
Wow... I've never been so excited or so scared to do anything in my life!
Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to get back over to Spain. My semester abroad in Granada last spring was the best semester I had in college... I loved the places that I traveled to and the activities that I partook in. I made wonderful friends from around the world and developed an amazing relationship with my host family. I loved the constant frustration and exhilaration of learning (and, when you really think about it, living) Spanish every day. I can only imagine what I'll learn, see and do in these ten months abroad!
That having been said, I'm still really nervous about this whole "teaching" thing. Everyday I seem to question my ability as to whether or not I'll be able to hack it over there. I just want to do well... not so much for myself but because I'm actually going to be responsible for students' understanding! I went to the library the other day and checked out about four books on teaching... no joke... and I have plans to make a trip to Barnes & Noble soon to buy some books on TESL. If I can accomplish one thing this upcoming year, it will be to instill in my students some of the same passion for languages that I have... even if it's just one student! I love studying Spain and its language and culture, it never ceases to challenge or amaze me- colloquial phrases, grammar, vocabulary, holidays, food, ins-and-outs of everyday life in Spain, etc., the list goes on and on. I only hope that I'm able to do that about English while I'm teaching abroad. It's a lofty goal, especially for one with no previous teaching experience, but we'll see!
Yesterday I traveled up to MA to visit a good friend for her graduation party. As I was there, surrounded by our friends and all her family, I started to think about how much I would miss everyone while I'm abroad. I've never been one to get homesick in the past, but I also know that ten months is a long period of time to go without seeing friends and family. Thank God I'll be with my host family again this time around and that some of my friends from Spain will still be in the country (at least during the holidays). Although... who knows who else I'll meet within the next year!
Alright, enough rambling for today, in my next entry I'll talk a little about CIEE and Armilla, Granada!
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